Imagine this… A 24 year old girl who has a caring boyfriend. She has been with him for almost two years, even the marriage has been brought up and contemplated. She works in upper management at her retail job and is good at her job, loves interacting with her customers and fellow employees. Has a wonderful step son who enjoys her company and has been trying to be the best she can be.
Like all couples, this couple has fights and like most couples this couple makes up with some mind blowing make up sex (December 22nd to be exact). Now this 24 year old didn’t think anything of this amazing make up sex besides the fact that it was amazing. She has been on birth control for seven years so what on earth could happen, right?
Fast forward six weeks and everything changes. This young adult came to the rescue of a friend whose grandfather had just died and she needed someone to take her kids for the day. As she got into her car and began the journey to her friends house the smell of gasolien permeated the vents. She began to get nauseous. No big deal, its just a lot of gas and its a lot of fumes, who wouldn’t get neauseous, right? On she goes.
As the day goes on, the kids and her drive to Dallas to have lunch with her mother. This place, Jen’s Place in Addison, has amazing quiche and she couldn’t wait to have one. It was the best quiche she had ever had. Just amazing. It melted on her tongue. Seriously amazing quiche. If you’re ever in Dallas Texas, go get some.
While she figured it was just this urge to have quiche, she ignored the feeling and continued on with the day. She and the kiddos went to her local Kroger to get some snacks for the kids. While there she really really wanted some fruit. Cherries and berries to be precise. Now, if it had been just one of these events through out the day she would have ignored this nagging feeling at the back of her brain. So she took a quick detour to the family planning section and picked up two different brands of pregnancy tests, after all false positives happen.
Her roommate was home when they arrived and the kids began to watch TV. She slipped into her bedroom and did what all women hate doing which is peeing on that damn white stick. Lo and behold those two little pink lines appeared. Oh Shit.
Her roommate was gracious enough to watch the kids while she went her her doctors office. After all false positives can happen and she just had to make sure. After peeing in a cup and giving a small vial of blood, she sat and waited, praying that it was a false positive and that her world wasn’t going to turn up side down.
Twenty minutes later the receptionist gave her the results of the urine test. Positive. Only the blood test will tell for sure if she was pregnant and the extent of the pregnancy. Worse she had to tell her other half. As you can imagine, boys freak out a little when you tell them that you’re pregnant.
So how do you navigate that Oh Shit moment? You don’t. A thousand things begin to go through your brain. How am i going to afford this? Will the child love me? Will i love the child? Is it going to have two parents or one? Will i have to go to court at some point to get the support i need? what about my parents? Am i going to be disowned? Should i even keep it? what about adoption?
These are some of the things that went through my head when i saw the two little lines on the pregnancy test. The reality is you can’t navigate the oh shit moment. Its impossible. If you’re the most composed person in the world at the time, you will eventually loose your mind bottling up the moments. Someone in your life will be by your side, whether it is a friend, co worker, sister, brother, parent, significant other, someone will be there for you. The best way to get through the oh shit moment is to lean on that person. Cry, laugh and just let the emotions out before you go insane. There is no other way to get through it.
Don’t worry about the what ifs or what will bes. Just live that current moment. Cry if you need to (you’ll do plenty in the coming months).
You’re going to be a parent and no amount of preparing will help you over come the oh shit.